My words, My Heart. Forever Online.

blonde joke. joke win, audience fail.

• i tried to tell a blonde joke to a pair of friends this is how it turned out
• me: what do you call a brunette between two blondes?
• friends: what?
• me: an interpreter. *chuckle*
• friends: what? *stares at each other* we don't get it
• me: its a dumb blonde joke. get it? shes an interpreter for the two blondes
• friends : i know its supposed to be a joke but why is she brunette? why not black hair?
• me: -_-

Good times

Don’t you just love those days where you get to surf and tumblr your day away while listening to awesome music?

Sushi fail

• while eating in a Japanese resto (not verbatim)
• friend: I hate raw food (then orders sushi)
• me: don't you know sushi is raw?
• friend: no its not its cooked.
• me: not its not. its raw.
• friend: isn't it smoked?
• me: no.
• friend: *stares at ordered sushi*
• me: are you going to eat that?
• friend: yeah. its still ...... good.

opinion

help me please!

when I say the term:

“B-movie”

what does it mean to you?

Me being very corny

• me: what do you call an albino bear?
• friend: wait, i know this. bear brand.
• me: *snicker* nope
• friend: hmmm
• me: a polar bear
• friend: -_-

The other day I learned that if you say 'beer can' with an English accent, you're saying 'bacon' with a Jamaican accent. Mind blown. MLIA

shoepastryheart:

(via nerdfighter)